Bad
by TheWubber5
Summary: (Shifty x Petunia with mentions of Lifty x Nutty) Shifty always hated Halloween, but maybe Petunia can change that. -T for sex mention and minor language-


Shifty wasn't a huge fan of Halloween, at least beyond the ability to steal candy from trick or treaters. Of course, he was used to being around people that got way too hyped up about it, what with it being one of Lifty's favorite holidays. It still annoyed him to see all of the decorations and the sudden opening of at least two or three Halloween stores. He avoided them as much as possible, but when he learned that Petunia had never been shy about her love for the occasion, he was dragging screaming and kicking (not literally, but he knew he wanted to) into one of these stores.

He groaned in extreme boredom as Petunia flipped through the costumes. He looked at some, too, finding them all cheesy and cheap looking. He found it a little odd that stores that obviously did well for themselves were unable to make convincing cowboy costumes. He looked up at his girlfriend, watching her face as it contorted in concentration. She was thinking hard about this, and he wondered how long she had been considering her Halloween costume. Probably longer than she needed to.

"Do we really need to dress up?" he asked, feeling like a whiny child. "I mean we're not kids any more."

Petunia glanced up at him, looking suddenly confused. "What, you don't like wearing costumes on Halloween?"

"Not really."

She looked as though he had shot her. "Why not?"

"I think it's kinda stupid."

She raised a brow and tsked, shaking her head. "How boring."

Then it looked like she found something she liked. She grabbed a plastic-covered costume off the rack and ran to the dressing room, saying she'd be back in a few minutes. He was confused, but also knew how excitable she could get. He brushed it off and kept looking around.

Some of the costumes he saw were just pitiable. The worst ones seemed to be the ones based off scary movie characters, which you would think would look the best. That idea of using her income for quality slipped into his mind again as Petunia walked towards him with a larger plastic bag on her arm. She said she found what she wanted and that they could leave. Inside, he cheered and paraded, but he couldn't help but to wonder what it was that she had found.

Usually, when they went clothes shopping – which was rare in and of itself, nut that's besides the point – Petunia would ask what he thought of something, modeling whatever she was wearing. Her not asking this time was strange, but then again, he had just said that dressing up for Halloween was stupid to him, so maybe she didn't want to bother him with it. He felt a little bad at that thought.

As they got to her home, she rushed up the stairs and stayed there for a few minutes. He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, only to be greeted with special after special. Halloween seemed to be infectious, and got more so every year. Of course that also meant horrific and strangely memorable deaths, but that's a different story.

When Petunia got back downstairs, she got some water and sat beside him, putting the water on the table beside Shifty by reaching over him. Once the glass landed softly on the surface, Shifty caught her hand and pulled her towards him, giving her a kiss. She giggled through it, and once they parted she snuggled up against him. They caught the beginning of a movie and watched it until about halfway through when Shifty got bored and started to seduce his girlfriend, who gave in easily, quickly becoming bored with the film herself.

After they, they laid together on the couch and watched some more TV before going to bed. The next morning, Shifty woke up alone. He sat up and stretching, yawning loudly to himself. Then he noticed a note on the table beside the bed. He picked it up and read it over.

 _Shifty,_

 _There wasn't anything to make for breakfast so I went out to get something for us._

 _Petunia_

He smiled. So sweet. He looked over the familiar room, looking for the calendar. When he took a good look at it, he saw that it was finally that over-advertised day of October. He groaned out loud, already anticipating the call from Lifty. They had agreed that they would still trick or treat as brothers, but they could also bring their own partners if they wished. Naturally, Lifty brought Nutty every year now, and Shifty brought Petunia. It was always fun, when you take away the internal fear of dying that day or even the night just ending badly.

Just as he was getting up and putting a pair of jeans on, he heard a pair of keys open the front door. Forgetting to put a shirt on, he went downstairs and greeted Petunia just as she was putting the food and drinks on the counter. She smiled as she looked at him, giving him a kiss and handing him his coffee. He took a sip and was pleased to know that she still remembered that he liked his coffee black. She, on the other hand, hated coffee, so she got herself orange juice instead.

As she got the food out, she handed him a couple chocolate chip bagels and told him she had cream cheese in the fridge, which he got out. She had plain bagels and she put butter on hers. They prepared their breakfasts in a comfortable quiet. Eventually, as they actually started eating, Petunia said something.

"So, we're meeting up with Lifty and Nutty tonight, right?" she asked as she nipped at her bagel.

Shifty chomped on his, chewed, and swallowed before he replied. "I haven't been told otherwise."

Petunia nodded. "Alright, good."

They were quiet again, only a little less comfortable than before.

"Do you really think Halloween is stupid?" she asked suddenly, putting down everything she had in her hands.

Shifty was a little surprised, but he answered easily. "Well, I mean, not _stupid_ , but I just never really liked it."

Petunia made a noise, then smirked a little. Whatever had caused there to be discomfort just then suddenly vanished into thin air. They finally finished their breakfasts, went upstairs, got their morning exercises out of the way, and went to the bathroom to actually get ready for the day.

A few hours later, they met up with Lifty and Nutty, who were both buzzing with anticipation. They had dressed as a couple this year, with Lifty as a Mounds bar and Nutty as an Almond Joy. It was a cute idea, and he told them he liked it, but he really didn't think about it beyond that. He had gathered as much as possible to make a makeshift mobster costume. Petunia had put work into hers, going as a zombie cheerleader. She had expertly applied the proper makeup and she actually looked morbidly realistic, using an old uniform of hers that she had tailored to fit her now.

They went to dinner first, earning plenty of compliments from passerby. Once they finished up, it was just time for the actual trick or treating to start. Before they got to the first house, Lifty reminded Nutty to control himself, and held his hand to make sure he'd be stable. Thankfully, the squirrel seemed to be better with Lifty holding on and keeping him in reality, so there weren't any problems.

Once the three trick or treaters' bags were fat with candy, they each said good bye to each other and parted ways. Lifty said he would visit the next day, and then he was gone, along with Nutty, who was chattering about their loot. Shifty and Petunia went home and split up the candy two ways, picking out and trading what they liked and what they didn't like and splitting what they both liked between the both of them.

Once they got everything sorted, Petunia said that she was going to wash the makeup off and change, asking Shifty to wait. He did so with a bit of confusion, choosing to eat his candy until she got back. It took about twenty minutes, and once she called him up, he wondered why she didn't come down and eat her candy with him like they had every year since they started celebrating Halloween together.

He got up, picked up the candy and putting hers in a bag that he set on her chair, and went upstairs. He had forgotten about the fact that he was still wearing his mobster costume until he saw her new one.

The first thing he noticed was the hat, a simple faux policeman's hat. Then he noticed that her makeup was darker and much more provocative. She had curled her hair a bit, letting it fall past he shoulders. Then he saw the main outfit. It was buttoned low, and it revealed as well as extenuated her cleavage quite noticeably. It was also made to look like a police uniform, but he looked more at the short skirt that was the source of her gorgeous legs, which were, at the moment, barely covered with black fishnet stockings that seemed to be connected to a garter belt under the skirt. Her boots had a medium sized heel, and were made of a shiny black leather. She was also swinging around a pair of handcuffs around her index finger.

While he usually couldn't stand the sight of a police officer, he couldn't help but to stare right at the woman he knew was going to make him, for a lack of a better term, her bitch. She sauntered towards him and turned him around, slipping the cuffs onto his wrists behind his back. Then she turned him back around and sat him on the bed. She then got onto his lap, leaning into his ear.

"Happy Halloween," she whispered, making him shiver.

For once, he found himself unable to roll his eyes or groan at the phrase.

 _End_


End file.
